Trust Him

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

“Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” - Matthew 28-31

Crack! A waterfall of hot blood rushed down my face to my mouth. I instinctively tilted my head up and pinched my nose. Something was clearly wrong. 

The scrawny six-foot-two boy who had driven his bony shoulder into my face looked around to see why no one had challenged his open lane to the basket. Some guy asked if I was alright, but a soft grunt was all my blood-drowned throat could muster.

I half-rushed out of the gym and awkwardly jogged down the spiral stairs leading to the ground floor. As I neared the bathrooms, I could audibly hear my shaky thoughts. Why now, Lord? 

The men’s bathroom mirror reaffirmed my fear. And as I pressed the timed faucet, my broken nose tainted the white ceramic sink with red.

Ironically, neither my disfigured face nor the pounding in my head bothered me. After a brutal first year as a missionary, with the end just a few weeks away, pain was muffled by frustration. I was tired and angry with God.  

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Following the Lord to the Black Forest of Germany felt more like crawling through the trenches of war than the fun adventure I had imagined. My role left me physically bankrupt, emotionally wounded, and spiritually attacked. I was exhausted, and a fractured face was the inconvenient cherry on top my black forest cake. 

It is very easy for us who have begun walking toward Jesus to feed ourselves a false narrative based on the storm around us. The crashing waves and roaring winds of reality tempt our eyes away from Him. We notice the chilling circumstances surrounding us and start to sink.  

We might even begin to blame Him. Like Peter, we ask Jesus to call us, and He says, “Come.” Yet, our obedience throws us from our rocking boat into a raging ocean.

But did He promise clear skies and a calm sea? Jesus did offer an easy yoke and light burden (Matt. 11:28-30). But that was about a path to righteousness that wasn’t labored for or earned. He did make it clear that walking after Him meant picking up a cross, a symbol of suffering. 

However, even that suffering, as Paul would say, is not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us (Rom. 8:18). Your author has intentionally written every wave, blowing wind, and headache into your story. Why? To draw you to Himself. 

One day, you’ll look back and find Him to have weaved you to the last page, where “happily ever after with Him” is written. 

Sometimes the storm is for our refinement. It may be discipline from our loving Father. At times, it may seem unbearable. But always, it is an invitation to draw near and trust Him. 

Illustration by Anna Rendall

Without thinking, I reached for the contorted nose. The sound of cracking, followed by a surge of blood, suggested change. Looking up, the familiar figure confirmed it. 

Days later, I found my lifelong breathing issues improved and my insecure crooked nose more symmetrical.  

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. - Luke 9:23

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28